Don't Ask, Just Tell

I find a slice of cold pizza sitting on our kitchen counter, random and unannounced.

Joel enters the room and gestures toward it.  "Don't eat that."

I hadn't been planning to do so, but I just have to ask.  "Why is there pizza out?"

"Not sure.  I just found it in the bathroom."

I'm silent.  How have we gotten to a point in life that a slice of pizza can migrate from our refrigerator to our bathroom without our knowledge?  Where, exactly, had it been discovered in the bathroom?  On the sink?  (One can hope.)  How can three children be so adept at rearranging the contents of our house each day so that our possessions continually shift and multiply and disappear and reemerge in unlikely locations?  Will this ever stop?

But, I can't express any of this.  I just look at the pizza suspiciously and ask, "Why?"

Joel shrugs back with a smile.  "Robin, at this point, I don't ask; I just tell.  Definitely, don't eat that pizza."

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  1. Hilarious! I can definitely relate. I once found a sippy cup full of MILK in the play kitchen days after it had gone bad. At least the child tried to put it in the fridge--just not the one with any power to keep it cold.

  2. Haha! Hopefully, it was one of the kids and not a case of sleep eating by one of you parents! ;)Love the paper towel...although, in this context it takes on new meaning! ....too funny!

  3. Ah, you are to the "Is this Chocolate or Poop?" stage of life! I find food in the weirdest places, mainly due to what we call Cullen's "freelancing" in the kitchen.

  4. Oh man welcome to my life!!! I love it! I have 2 couch throw pillows that disappeared like 2 weeks ago and have yet to be found. Children definitely have a way of transporting things to the most unlikely places!!

  5. Alright, so, during small group one day, I looked down and saw the Wild Orange eating a chicken nugget. I hadn't given her nuggets for a long time. When I asked her where she got it, she told me from her (play) kitchen. Who knows how long it had been hidden in there. I was so scared she'd get sick, but she never did.

    Totally gross about the nugget; totally gross about the pizza.

  6. Why is it that I end up grinning at my computer like a fool while I'm reading your posts? Every single time.


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