Temperamental

The weather can't make up its mind today. I've been at home for hours, sitting at the same seat at my kitchen table as I grade student speeches. The sun shines, and I angle my laptop to avoid the glare. Then clouds roll in, they sky darkens, and rain bursts forth. Back and forth: light then dark, sunny then dreary, dry then drenched.

It's temperamental. All day long, it's been back and forth.

It's a good reminder. When I'm in mood -- you know, a mood -- where I'm feeling volatile or dreary, it's good to remember that it's only a passing feeling. Feelings, just like weather, change. They don't last forever.

On temperamental days when the sun can't fully decide whether it wants to shine and the clouds can't fully decide whether they want to rain, we accept the tug-of-war. It's part of life to have sunny days, and rainy days, and days that can't quite commit. Ditto for our internal lives.

The older I get, the more I try to pay attention to my emotions -- to let myself feel them in all their exhilarating highs, all their sorrowful aches, and all the gray areas in between. And then, in the midst of all this feeling, I try to remember that these feelings don't need to dictate me. They're real, but they can be more like passengers -- not shoved in the trunk and ignored, not driving the bus, but along for the ride.

Weather changes. My moods change within my complicated heart. Thank God, however, that there's something that doesn't change: God himself. He's stable, not temperamental. He's a reliable foundation.

Since I've started writing, the sky already has brightened, yet I know more rain will fall as the day progresses. I simply remind myself to stay balanced, accepting and releasing  changes as they come and go, taking comfort that, unlike today's weather, the most important foundation will always remain constant and good.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Hebrews 13:8