Because I'm Kinda Sorta Like Michael Phelps

You know that iconic photo of Michael Phelps wearing the 28 medals that he won across a span of 16 years in 4 separate Olympic Games? Well, not to compare -- because I'd hate to take away from his accomplishments -- but I did just finish my 7th half marathon in exceptionally average time.

Michael, we should share stories sometime. (You're the surf, I'm the turf. Together we'll be dynamic.) You come wearing your medals, and I'll come wearing mine. No need for you to feel intimidated by my accolades, or my crooked selfie-taking skills, for that matter.

It'll just be straight talk, one highly-decorated athlete to another.