Best Mother's Day Gifts

Mother's Day is around the corner.  I'd take any of these potential gift ideas:

Car seats that automatically buckle.  Children sit down and harnesses lower over them, just like the safety bars on amusement park rides.  No parental involvement necessary.

Self-washing and folding laundry.  Enough said.

A personal chef.  I don't ask for much, just someone who can prepare nutritious meals that every member of my family simultaneously likes.  Just that.

A sensor that lets me know if a sippy cup full of milk has been hidden in a pile of toys before days pass and an unassuming child unearths the cup and begins drinking.

A stickiness-repellent for floors and tabletops.  This repellant also could be applied to doorknobs, light switches, walls, and all other hard and soft surfaces.  It would be all-purpose and effective, kind of like Duct tape except that it would repel rather than adhere.  In essence, a force field.

An object finder so whenever a child asks, Have you seen my [left shoe, homework, book, stuffed animal,  pebble, plastic thingy, or picture that I colored three weeks ago?], I could hand over the finder, let the child track her own errant belongings, and conserve my mental exertion.

A finder for the object finder, in the off-chance that it would get misplaced next to the sippy cup of curdled milk.

What would you like to receive this Mother's Day?

Check out Then I Became a Mother: humor, hope, and encouragement for moms!  Available in both Kindle and paperback editions.  Enjoy this gift you really can give!

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  1. Love it!  I could definitely use the self-washing/folding laundry and a personal chef.  I would also love a Star Trek-like teleporter - I spend waaaayyyy too much time in my minivan hauling kids!  We could just hop in and say "Beam us to school" or "Beam us to gymnastics class!" :)

  2. The Mom ChefMay 08, 2012

    I'll do number three for you as long as you remover the last seven words. Number four made me gag (as I'm sure it did the unassuming child).

    Honestly, for Mother's Day, I'd cherish alone time. Just a few hours; me, a good book, a tall, cold Diet Coke and maybe some Cheetos.

  3. The finder of sippy cups would be worth its weight in gold.  I'd also take some kind of service that would check all the pockets of pants in the dirty clothes to check for crayons, food, animals, or toys.  That way there wouldn't be any surprises when I open the washing machine.

  4.  Yes, that's very good.  I'd take that, too.

  5. I'm left with one pressing question: have you discovered any animals in your kid's pockets?

    Living or dead?

  6.  Ah, Mom Chef, I surely hope that your wish list comes true.

  7. I couldn't have said it better myself!  I love it! 

  8. smoothstonesMay 08, 2012

    a housekeeper

  9. ANYTHING that consistently makes learning, eating healthy, and practicing good manners MORE INTERESTING than Mario and Disney channel.

  10.  Yes!  This one is not to be overlooked!

  11. WildjuniperMay 09, 2012

    absolutely hilarious!  LOVE IT!  Love your blog too... we posted this to ours

    Thanks for the daily humor!  

  12. robin, i would take one of each of the things you mentioned. and could you have those express mailed to my house please? 1 day delivery please! :)

    also...just wanted to mention that i gave your blog a shout out this week on my blog (

    thanks for the inspiration!

  13.  Thanks so much, Sara!  I appreciate the shout out!  :)

  14.  My pleasure entirely!  So glad that you liked the post!

  15. There was some sort of an insect once in my son's pocket.  I only discovered it after the dryer so I'm not sure if it was alive when it went into the pocket...


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