Last week our family ordered Chinese take-out, and it struck me that I've never yet written about Chinese food on this blog. Not once!
That's about to be rectified.
On mess: Like taco night (another family favorite), Chinese take-out night excels in its mess-making capacity. How, exactly, does fried rice end up underneath the toaster and scattered on the bathroom floor after a meal? Does it attach itself to our clothing like burrs, traveling through the house like an invasive species? Do my children pocket small handfuls of it, anticipating that they might need a stash of edible confetti? How do cultures who subsist primarily on rice-based diets do this?
On water chestnuts: You're either going to love or hate water chestnuts. There's really no middle ground here.
On duck sauce: If you order egg rolls but forget to request duck sauce, the entire meal will be tinged with disappointment. Contrary to what your five-year-old will suggest, dipping your egg roll in sweet and sour sauce is just not the same. (Besides, she's the kid who once combined chicken with grape jelly and declared it to be delicious, so you already know not to trust her.)
On leftover rice: It's a given that you'll have an uneven entre-to-rice ratio, with the rice winning out. I often pretend that I'll do something resourceful with that one tightly-packed extra container of white rice during an upcoming meal, but inevitably, it ends up migrating to the back of the refrigerator and getting pitched later in the week.
On fortune cookies: Even if you're no longer hungry, you'll still eat the fortune cookie. Even if you don't put credence in it, you'll still read the fortune. Even if you can't pronounce the "Learn Chinese" phrase on the back of the fortune, you'll still try it out for your husband.
医药 Yīyào. I just said medicine! Medicine!
He won't be impressed.
On mess (again): Despite the fact that you've swept multiple times, a week later a few rogue pieces of dried rice will still be congregating in a corner of your kitchen floor. It's okay. The sight of them just might spark a blog post.