Every so often, I fold my children's laundry and I'm shocked. In one load I will find fifteen shirts, seven pairs of shorts, nine socks, and three pairs of underwear. Something isn't adding up.
I try to eat snacks in front of my children without them knowing. It's an art form, one which takes exceptional timing and stealth. I've developed the ability to respond to questions while I have food in my mouth without looking like I have food in my mouth. This cannot be sustained for long. Brevity is essential.
While driving I've also mastered a subtle hand-to-mouth movement as I turn my body oh-so-slightly to the left so my kids don't notice that I'm popping Dots like it's my business.
At times, I suspect that I'm growing inoculated. The other day I entered my bathroom and discovered a hula hoop on the floor. I didn't even react because it was no stranger than the time that I entered the kitchen and found the couch cushions piled on the counters. Or when my black high heels turned up in our backyard garden. Or when my husband discovered a slice of pizza in the bathroom.
What random skills have you gained from parenthood? What surprising observations have you made?
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