Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a woman named Robin who was capable of efficiently moving in and out of stores because she didn't need to buckle and unbuckle children from car seats, stop to pick up shoes that toddlers accidentally had kicked off, or break up arguments over whose turn it was to stand at the helm of the grocery cart.

She carried no diaper bag.  She merely kept her car keys and some money in her pocket -- or demurely clutched in her hand.  Often she also carried a lipstick.  She was carefree, unencumbered, and did I mention that she was very, very quick while running errands?

She was very, very quick while running errands.

Now Robin carries a bag most places, except when she forgets to carry a bag and immediately regrets it when she finds herself in a public restroom with a child who is stretched out on a diaper changing station in dire need of a diaper change.

Recently, she emptied that bag and discovered three diapers, a package of wipes, a small container of hand sanitizer, a few suspicious Kleenex, an outdated church bulletin, an empty Tupperware container, a single dirty sock, a Happy Meal toy, several crayons, a child's windbreaker, and two plastic spoons.  She then shook the bag, releasing a mixture of what she thinks was crumbled Goldfish crackers and sand.

There was no lipstick to be found.  There was, however, one quarter and three pennies.

She still cannot determine the location of her car keys.

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6 comments:

  1. I think we should routinely have contests to see which mommy is carrying the most random item in her bag...or lugging around in her minivan. Remember the days when all you stored in your car was an umbrella, your car documents, and some CDs? Currently, I'm driving around an umbrella stroller to go along with a fleet of umbrellas in various sizes; a foam marshmallow "Peeps" hat; a wooden sword; a portable potty; a first aid kit; and a bag of miscellaneous items that still has yet to make it out of the vehicle after the last time I "tidied" up.

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  2. Ahh, motherhood and all the stuff that goes with it. My best friend has the same "fairy tale", but she says at the end of the day, when she spends time with her kids, forgetting some things doesn't really matter anymore. :)

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  3. I remember when I simply used to FIT IN store doors without requiring the help of friendly strangers to squeeze my twins through the doors in their double-wide stroller. What a novelty.

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  4. Oh, the bottom of a mommy's bag. It is an alternate reality down there!

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  5. I like your fairy tale. Especially without the and-they-lived-happily-ever-after; because then I know I'll get to hear about tomorrow and the next day and the next day

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