I have a few parenting confessions, things that I occasionally think and do but never articulate -- until now.
Some parents have an issue with Barney. Although I'm not crazy about him, I never have been exceedingly bothered by his bumbling antics. It's Dora I don't like. Her voice. Her strange almond-shaped head. The painfully formulaic plot line. I can't even type about her without wincing.
In lieu of a legitimate bath, on more than one occasion I have wiped down my children's sticky face, hands, and feet with a baby wipe and called it good enough. A bath can wait until the next day -- when they're dirtier.
It's not unusual for me to save dessert until after the girls go to sleep.
When I'm especially tired, I skip sentences when I'm reading bedtime stories. I sometimes add my own endings: "And then everyone went to sleep, slept the whole night through without needing to go to the bathroom, and woke up in a good mood at a reasonable hour. The end."
At random increments, I scour the house for old artwork, cheap plastic toys, and the other miscellaneous junk that only appears in a household with small children. Once gathered, I unrepentantly toss these things into the trash. Actually, to be more accurate, I systematically bury them in the trash underneath other garbage. We don't want those items resurfacing now, do we?
So, what are your confessions?