Those pork chops look delicious.
I don't typically wake up to those words. Then again, I don't typically fall asleep on the couch for an hour while the little ones are taking their afternoon naps. Being that Reese is a six-year-old who recognizes an opportunity when she sees one, she capitalized on my comatose state by flipping channels and immersing herself in a cooking show on TV.
Hence the commentary on pork chops that roused me from my slumber.
Then again, maybe I shouldn't be surprised. She is the child who I discovered at 6:30 in the morning sitting on the downstairs couch wearing only her underwear, eating chocolate pudding, and watching Sports Center a few years back.
She has eclectic viewing tastes.
Most afternoons while her sisters nap, though, she's not learning how to pan fry pork. You'll most often find us playing games: Go Fish, Crazy Eights, Memory, Chutes and Ladders, Sequence for Kids. You name it, we play it.
The problem is that Reese, who normally operates as a high-speed kind of a girl, morphs into a person whose decision-making skills flow more slowly than molasses.
To put it in perspective, if I walked at the pace in which Reese plays a board game, I would lose balance due to the unnaturally long lapse between when my left foot treads in front of my right. It's painful to witness. Please, please, would you just pick up a card and lay down a chip already?
Sometimes I consider gnawing off my arm. Clearly, God is refining my gift of patience.
Slow play can be funny, though, as shown by Ben Crane, a guy who seems right at home wearing a wetsuit. And a helmet. Okay, you've just got to watch him for yourself:
He's the reason why my children go around the house singing the Golf Boys song. The oh, oh, oh lodges itself in your head, but then again, I do need something to sing to myself as I'm waiting for Reese to make her next move.